What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast

My name is John, I’m 40 years old, husband and father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis. I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.

Episodes:

Drawing

What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, Episode 8: “Big Week”

My name is John, I’m 38 years old, husband and father of two, radio DJ, podcaster, small business owner and I have MS (Multiple Sc;erosis). I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.

Recap Episode 7: “Bread Moment”

It was very hot, and now it’s rather pleasant. I’ve been having a peaceful week with my wife because when it’s hot I am grouchy. I also told the story of being afraid of Chad Robertson, my bread hero. I baked bread by this guy Chad Robertson. One day I was at a restaurant and I was with somebody who was kind of hooked up and the waiter was like “hey over there is Chad Robertson want to meet him?” And I was like “uh, it’s cool.” I was scared to. I was intimidated, man. Anyway, he makes great bread. It’s a hard story to tell, a time when I didn’t live up to my own standards. Anyway episode 7 check it out.

Big Week

Last Tuesday I got my haircut, my beard shaved, lined up. Elvis at the barbershop did me all right. I was getting ready, I had a big week, so let’s go.

MS Doctor

Later that day I saw my MS doctor for my annual checkup. We reviewed my MRI, and I am in radiological remission, which means nothing is showing up on my MRI, which means I’m not getting new brain lesions or other disease activity that the MRI scan can see.
Then we took a trip through my brain, it was kind of cool. My doctor was like, “Okay let’s look at your MRI. This is how it works top down.” He starts going through the images, wow.
We took a trip through my brain. My doctor noted that my cerebellum is pretty clean. That’s like the top of my green, the big brainy part. But my brain stem has a lot of lesions, and they are old lesions. They affect my ability to walk, swallow, get up and talk actually. All the stuff I know because I experience it but it was interesting to learn that is caused by lesions in my brain stem.

Rituximab

We’ve decided to continue my current treatment which is rituximab, that I take in a 4-Hour infusion every 6 months. We were all shocked to learn I was about six weeks late for my rituximab infusion, and I guess it fell off the table. After the appointment, the staff and I scheduled it I’m going to have an infusion on Friday in a couple days time. Even though we scheduled at the last minute, they hooked me up. Stanford, shout outs.

The studies on rituximab are 18 months long. I haven’t reached that time yet so we’re going to continue my treatment, even though obviously I’m not healed and I’m still experiencing walking swallowing and thinking problems, among other things.
I told my doctor about this podcast, I told him to check it out. He was pretty stoked actually. I told them that I do this for my own therapy, to get better, which is why I do it, it makes me stronger to do so I love sharing. Boom! I’m stronger now.

Then on Wednesday, the next day I got a new ankle-foot orthotic brace which helps me walk, and not sprain my ankle and have balance. It’s good!

AFO: Ankle-foot Orthotic

But it was kind of a mixed bag. I wore the new ankle-foot orthotic, they call it an AFO.

boule

Bread Moment

My name is John, I have MS, I’m 38 years old and I started this podcast to share what I’m going through.

Recap Episode 6

Episode 6: “Overwhelmed” was short but impactful the way short things can often be. Like Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan, until they get hit in the mouth.”
Last episode was basically nothing but a long recap, and then I got distracted telling how I made tomato sauce. I gave up and I just stopped the whole thing after like two and a half minutes.

It’s very hot right now

It’s hot outside. I fell down yesterday in my garden. My thoughts bubble up through my mind like my mind is full of mud, like a primordial ooze and my thoughts bubble up through it. They come very slow, I’m like, “me hungry.” It’s like that.

Uhthoff’s effect

I feel some fatigue from Uhthoff’s effect, which was discovered in the 19th century by a German neurologist who discovered that people with MS feel bad when they’re in the sun. I totally agree with this.

Too much argument

I’ve been having a lot of arguments with my wife. I’m super short-tempered. I argued with my wife on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and today, Wednesday, even though I saw her for only 5 minutes this morning I managed to get upset with her.

Being a salamander

It’s so hot I just don’t move. We call it being a salamander.I try and sit there and do as little as possible.

Josh is baking

My friend Josh is talking to me about baking bread and reallystimulating. I used to make a lot of bread. I’m in the hot sauce business, but I thought about making bread and coffee and I still think about it. I love making bread and growing plants. I’m a gardener, you know it’s all like making bread, growing your family it’s all the same having a garden, pruning a plant. So it is stimulating to hear that Josh has been baking bread.

Dinner with Margarita

One time I went to dinner with my friend Margarita. She was the bartender at Casanova in the Mission on Valencia Street and across the street is this Mexican spot Puerto Alegre. They really had kinda Tex-Mex, it wasn’t high on the list for Mexican places but they served a blended margarita in pitchers and when I was in my twenties, I would just wonder, how many pitchers did I drink?
So I went over there with Margarita, I was in town from New York where I was living in Brooklyn at the time, I was visiting town. I looked up Margarita and we headed over to Puerto Allegre, and Margarita is a Mission bartender, she’s been a bartender at many bars in the mission for a long time, like 20-something years, and she knew everybody. When we went to Puerto Allegre, she knew the waiter, and he said, “Oh hey Chad Robertson is over there you know those Tartine bread guys?” Actually he said, “You know those Tartine Bakery guys? But I knew them as Tartine Bread guys because they had a book about how to make bread that I would obsessively follow in my Brooklyn apartment.

Chicken

It was an amazing moment, Chad Robertson sitting across and Margarita there, and I had one of those moments in my life, where I totally chickened out. I didn’t get up and say, “Oh my goodness Chad Robertson I have been baking your bread every day but I am quite an amateur and I bet you have so much to say, so interesting, I’m so glad to meet you,” – no, I did none of those things, none of that. I stayed in the corner and I was like, “oh cool.”

Tell your hero

It haunts me to this day. So it’s good to say in this podcast. One of the things that’s what’s the matter with me is I regret not meeting Chad Robertson and the other Bakers from Tartine Bakery. It was 2008 at the time and this was very interesting stuff. Nothing happened, because I chickened out.
Don’t do that, is my advice. If your hero is sitting across from you, and somebody asks if you want to meet them, you should say, “Yes, I want to meet them right now.” Tell them how much they mean to you and tell them they’re your hero. I wish I had told Chad Robertson that.

sauce pan on stove

Overwhelmed

In Episode 6 I get overwhelmed and hang up the headphones in the middle of the episode. On the one hand, it’s a pretty terrible episode because of that, but on the other hand, it is good to know that I can feel bad and recover. I certainly don’t feel this way anymore. It’s hard to slur your words on the mic.

Books / Can’t do what your parents do

A listener wrote in to correct me about some books that I touched on in the last episode and I took this opportunity to set the record straight. Tony Robbins wrote Awaken the Giant Within. Dale Carnegie wrote How To Win Friends and Influence People. Steven R. Covey wrote that 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Good information

My Mom had these books and that’s why I avoided them. I was a childish child. They probably contain a lot of good information.

All right?

I feel all right. I don’t have to go to the doctor.

Sauce

I made tomato sauce with 5 tomatoes that I grew. I have a hard time explaining how I made it. It gets hard for me to talk, hard to say “5 of them”. I’m slurring my words. I get frustrated and hang up my headphones. I’m feeling pretty low, after all.