What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast
My name is John, I’m 39 years old, husband and father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis. I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.
About Me:
John Hoppin
Creator of the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast
I am 39 years old, a husband and father of two, and I have multiple sclerosis. I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.
I have multiple sclerosis and that affects my life and work in many ways. I am the host of the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast where I share my experiences, challenges and triumphs as a patient with MS. The podcast develops my Disability Consciousness and bridges me with my caregivers, doctors, the disabled community, and community-at-large.
Season 2, Episode 14: Harvest & Wedding
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Welcome to Whats The Matter With Me? Season 2, Episode 14: Harvest & Wedding
Last Episode Recap
I got a new brace from a disabled provider; I am a creative person and for me that means I must take charge of my own representation in order to be who I imagine; Hoppin Hot Sauce is advancing, and I’m getting more disabled and simple things are getting harder.
Shoutouts
Shoutouts to Rocky- always listening; Kyle fromTwo Disabled Dudes podcast, to my wife who worked hard at the Harvest Festival and every other day too. Email me and I will give you a shout out free of charge.
Off The Air
I’ve been off the air for a few weeks, I took Hoppin Hot Sauce to a Harvest Fair. I’ve started a
Hoppin Hot Sauce Youtube channel, and I went on vacation to a wedding in Malibu. let’s get into it.
Harvest Festival
We went to the Harvest Festival at Marshall Cottle Park in San Jose, organized by San Jose Made, a local organizer of maker events and craft fairs. We set up a booth for Hoppin Hot Sauce, with bottles, poster easels, and myself and my wife passing out samples.. My goals were #1- to represent the brand and #2- to sell some sauce. We did well. It was 5 hours of talking, very tiring and I slept the whole next day. Next time I will be sure there are two people with me, not just me. I am no good to fold a popup canopy no matter how easy it is. i made a video about it and put it on the youtube channel.
YouTube Channel
I started the Hoppin Hot Sauce youtube channel. I made two videos: the zipa, and the harvest fair recap. i’ve been directing a lot of my energy that way, learning software i haven’t used in 15 years, learning about putting it online. I like it because I can tell my brand’s story, speaking directly to the customer, and also say things that are positive representations of disabled people.
Malibu
I went to malibu for a beautiful wedding under a big palm tree at a glamorous house overlooking the ocean. they were my wife’s oldest friends, they had grown up scampering over the fence to each other’s house in 1980s southern california.
Creating New Products
I’m working on some new products for Hoppin Hot Sauce , one is a spicy salad dressing which seems crazy but people often remark to me that they put it on salad.
when it was time to make lunch today i cubed up some leftover tritip, tossed it with arugula in a bowl, and put spicy salad dressing on it, some walnuts and raisins, and it was pretty good. I’m in mad scientist mode: I’ve got some ideas, and I’ll keep going. I’m also doubting myself constantly like always. The struggle is to move forward and to be comfortable with the unknown. i must always remember- move onwards.
Season 2, Episode 13: It’s Fall
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Welcome Whats The Matter With Me? Season 2, Episode 13: It’s Fall
Last episode Recap
Antacids, Artificial intelligence thinks I want to know what my Dad looks like, and other things I’m not asking.
Shoutouts
To Rocky, always take your hoppin hot sauce medicine. To Patrick- thanks for listening. Don’t forget to write me and I will give you a shout out even if it’s to Patrick and Rocky over and over again forever shout out y’all.
Nat- I dig your paintings we should do a trade. Email me and I will give you a shout out free of charge.
Fall #1
I fell in the living room and hit the back of my head. The sound in my head was very loud. It hurt a lot. It was right up there with my worst falls. It was in the living room near the entrance where there ios a lot of stuff on the ground.
Fall #2
I tripped and fell in the middle of my yard when there was watering in a head to get to the chair in the corner to stand up again and it was an epic journey, scooting my butt across the yard.
New Brace From A Disabled Practitioner
I got a new brace. First time working with a disabled care provider. It was great and I told her so. She had a disability that you can see right away looking at her. It even made her work for complicated but she had hacks and workarounds just like I do. Except she was in the doctor’s chair. It was so cool. During the exam She couldn’t do one thing, so I helped her and I couldn’t do this other thing and she helped me.
No Fellowship — Creating My Own Representation
I did not receive the fellowship I applied for, but I understood that this project is about creating my own representation so, which was necessary because multiple sclerosis is often portrayed as a thief that steals the capability of those people that it infects.
I was not comfortable seeing myself as incapable because I have capability, maybe even a great capability. Why not? Either way I have decided to try and that in itself is a capability.
I am trained as an Artist – I am documenting my stories and creating my own representation
Don’t eat figs off the ground
It is the part of the Year where the Second Harvest of speaks is here and sometimes they fall off the tree and I remind myself not to eat them
My Hand Is Useless
My hand is really useless. It’s it’s in a claw most of the time sometimes my thumb goes under my index finger. At night when I’m sleeping and I wake up at 4 in the morning is the best time but I’m at Cross purposes there because it’s also the best time for being asleep. It’s hard to move around and to get up and to do anything really.
I’m really bad at that delivering hot sauce and that is a challenge now. My clients are understanding and they often give me a hand. I guess that works but it is not right for a long-term solution. If people know they have to help me that will factor in to whether or not they buy from me because it is an added cost on top of what they pay for my product.
It’s made falling more difficult because I can’t protect myself with my right arm so often time I will protect myself with my left arm and then I have right shoulder and face will hit the ground or the table or whatever I reach out to grab with my last time. I can’t block I guess. So I’m getting the crap kicked out of me in addition to having a useless arm and Claw hand.
It’s pretty tough but it’s good to say that here. Just to say my hand doesn’t work right now I’m trying to work and it’s pretty tough. That makes me feel better thank you for listening to it.
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Season 2, Episode 12: Antacids
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Welcome Whats The Matter With Me? Season 2, Episode 12: Antacids
Last Episode Recap
Shoutouts
General Confusion
General confusion and the inability to think of anything much at all last week.
Giving up everything
I felt like giving up on Hoppin Hot Sauce. It was too hard and nobody wanted it anyway, I thought. I went on for some days like this and I think it may have happened the week before as well. I really felt like quitting and giving up everything. And what was so annoying was I couldn’t even have a thought about that, to evaluate it. There were no brain waves.
Action
I started to question my medication., because I was feeling so bad. Then on Thursday at the end of the day suddenly I snapped into action and begin to realize just how much I had to do. I had to pay some people and sell sauce and balance my books. I got a haircut and I’ll probably cook dinner for the family. I think it’s going to be vegetable pasta with tomatoes and grilled zucchini and roasted red bell peppers because we have all that around. And lots of Parmesan cheese.
Antacids
On the advice of my therapist, I started taking antacids with my afternoon pills, not an empty stomach, and I saw an improvement. I no longer question reality all afternoon.
AI Wakeup
What does my day look like? What does my dad look like? What does my d*** look like? Why doesn’t artificial intelligence know what I need to see first thing in the morning?
Antacids over AI
In short, antacids are getting it done, and artificial intelligence still leaves much to be desired.
Download
Download the Whats The Matter With Me? podcast on Apple podcasts and whatsthematterwithme.org
Check out the Whats The Matter With Me? podcast page on Facebook, please review it and like it — help me get the word out. Contact me here.