Thanks for visiting the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast.

My name is John, I’m 40 years old, husband, father, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster and I have multiple sclerosis.

I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.

Most Recent Episodes:

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Day 23 of self-isolation

I’m going to try practicing some acceptance to get through this terrible experience of confinement, which is worse than usual.

Day 14 in isolation

coronavirus isolation has my mind stressing, the amygdala, anion mal brain underneath the hippocampus, the thinking part of my brain.

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A crash course in distance learning

I recorded this message on lockdown. I can’t go anywhere due to the coronavirus pandemic and my multiple sclerosis condition. I’m in my house with my family, trying to educate my kids and keep their development on track. We’re taking a crash course in distance learning, e-learning, online education, or whatever it’s called, sooner than any of us thought.

LOCKED DOWN in California. Using my wheelchair to get around the neighborhood. Spoke to the teacher in a Zoom conference. Distance learning, ready or not. In the virtual classroom. Online learning resources from the library. Immersed in the distance learning environment overnight. I may be related to teachers. Spanish lessons.

click for transcript
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The orthotist came up with a second brace concept, and I went back for a fitting that left me feeling a bit dejected.

She took a video of me walking in the examination room. She showed it to me after. It was framed from the knee down. Looking at it made me feel really disabled. I felt ashamed of myself. I felt sorry for myself. it was kind of nauseating. I looked at myself as an object. I felt disgusted.

I apologized to her for walking so poorly. She was surprised. Raising an eyebrow, she told me I had nothing to apologize for.

click for transcript