My name is John,

I’m 43 years old, husband, father, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have Multiple Sclerosis.

I created the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast to share what I’m going through.


I believe in using the transformational power of creativity to achieve social justice. Joseph Beuys once famously claimed that, “Each person is an artist.” In the words of the Spanish poet Antonio Machado, “Wanderer, your footprints are/ the path, and nothing else;/ wanderer, there is no path,/ the path is made by walking.” My work consists of public interactions that create new conditions in the community.

I have multiple sclerosis and that affects my life and work in many ways. I am the host of What’s The Matter With Me?, a podcast where I share my experiences, challenges and triumphs as a patient with MS. The podcast develops my Disability Consciousness and bridges me with my caregivers, doctors, the disabled community, and community-at-large.

If each person is an artist, and we create the road by walking, then it is up to us to create the world we want to see.

wheelchair dig cover

In “Wheelchair Dig,” a dinner party, shout outs and a family trip to the record store.

Amidst discussions on music finds, including Eminem and Taylor Swift covers, touching on the disappearance of People’s Park, radio’s outreach to marginalized communities, and the place of ‘inspirational’ content in disability culture.

Canvas for hot sauce

We had our neighbors over for dinner last night and we made pulled pork sandwiches and coleslaw. The kind of thing just perfect for hot sauce.

All-KFJC Shouts

Shout out to the sandman who wrote in for a fresh fish recommendation in the South Bay. So I gave up all my spots to him?

Shout out to Jersey girl and Max level

There’s only one way

Subscribe and get the selfie

Wheelchair dig

Amoeba Records Berkeley

Went record shopping at Amoeba in my wheelchair with the family


I found a 3cd set of Codona on ECM used / don cherry nana vasconcelos and collin wallcott. It’s proto-‘world music’

my son got eminem’s “Marshall Mathers 2”. he is having emotional problems, so I see why he is connecting with this.

My wife and my daughter went in on the taylor swift covers cd taylor’s version – electropop, powerful music – the frequencies are on blast, it peels your eyelids back and curls your eyelashes. plenty rizz, more drip than expected, pretty obvious why she’s a spectacular pop star

people’s park is gone – three cops guarding the shipping containers blockading it – bad vibes

Inspiration to who?

Is There A Healthy Place For ‘Inspirational’ In Disability Culture? Andrew Pulrang

Disabled people have complicated relationships with a lot of words. But the one word other than “disability” itself disabled people feel most intensely about may be the word “inspirational.”

Andrew Pulrang


wheelchair dig art
Digging in the crates

The radio and other broadcast media is egalitarian in the way it approaches disabled people and unpopular people. The voice on the radio is the companion that they have. Homeless people, weirdos, prisoners, anyone who tunes in can listen

On that note, email me

wheelchair dig cover tw
Digging in the crates

Chapter List

People’s Park
Disability culture
Andrew Ang
Ella Young
Radio broadcasting
Amoeba Berkeley (record store)
Hoppin Hot Sauce
Record shopping
Multiple sclerosis
Trigeminal neuralgia
Taylor Swift
Hip hop

The Music Episode

In “The Music Episode:” “Let’s Paint TV,” Ludacris color story meme, and keeping the kids in their rooms by tuning in to Day Of Noise on KZSU.

When life gives you shoes.. make shoeanade

The new shoes that I got in the last episode are working out. They’re made by a company called Drew

I swear it’s true

Semi-transparent guitarist playing a record store “in store” gig with red paint scrawled all over its face

This is the music episode

Spicy Roasted Pistachio Nuts

kikunae ikeda

The Spicy Roasted Pistachios with Hoppin Hot Sauce Extra Hot came out but there was one problem – i couldn’t stop eating them – we’ll eat them at the Super Bowl, if they last that long

I’m writing an email blast about them, and I made some cool collages, like this one, of the guy who coined the term ‘umami’

Umami means “delicious taste.” in Japanese.

The Struggle Is Real

If Sisyphus was alive today, he could have a podcast about going up the hill and rolling the boulder over and AI would say it was a multi-faceted discourse.


It helps when I search for stuff using my wheelchair not walking around. BC then I actually look around, instead of focusing on walking, trying not to fall, as usual.

Berkeley Rock Stars

I got a fragment of The time of your life Green Day song stuck in my head, but only the title, and even that I got wrong.

Not Like The Others

If you’re like, “This certainly isn’t like another podcast,” make sure to subscribe to get the selfie.

Here Be The River Of Pain

Changes in the weather: the atmospheric river pointed at California is screwing with my face a bit. Stinging me, stabbing me – out of nowhere.

Ultimately Very Listenable

Thiis is from “Let’s Paint TV,” hosted by the Los Angeles artist John Kilduff. Once the novelty of his multidisciplinary multitasking wore off, which, I admit, took a while, I found it soothing and ultimately very listenable. He has an etsy store, with lots of items for sale at a very reasonable prices considering the obvious talent involved. For real – I mean, could you do this? I couldn’t, and I appreciate him for what he has done.

Appealing Color Story Hip Hop Rap Ludacris Meme

mauve birch meme

I created the Ludacris meme “Mauve birch”

My Children Were On Lockdown

day of noise 2024

It was the day of noise on KZSU. The 24-hour live marathon of noise and experimental sounds kept the kids out of the main room of the house, in their rooms with the doors firmly shut, pretty much all day.

Keeping It Going

escalo frio

On the day after Day Of Noise, my daughter had a playdate. While it was going on, I put on Escalo Frio by Otto Von Shirach which was more of the same. Escalo frio means shiver in Spanish. The record features an appearance by Matmos. Before putting it on I told my wife it was dance music and I admit, that was misleading.

No Test Drive

Abilities expo isn’t happening in the bay area this year but it is happening in Los Angeles in mid March. I can get another of the same wheelchair that I already have, however I would like to have a chance to look at the options in a hands-on way.

The Music Episode Selfie

the music  episode selfie
The Music Episode Selfie

One More Time

This is the music episode.

Semi-transparent guitarist playing a record store “in store” gig with red paint scrawled all over its face

Chapter List



In “NEW SHOES 2KXXIV,” I get new shoes for the first time in years, piece together a classy color scheme of colors with gross-sounding names and austerity in the UK impacts people with disabilities.

Through this episode, I invite you to join me in unraveling the complexities of this multifaceted experience.

Hoppin Hot Sauce Toasted Pistachios

1 cup pistachios, 2 teaspoon whole cumin seed, 1 teaspoon aji-no-moto, 1 Tablespoon Hoppin Hot Sauce, salt, olive oil. Stir together and lay out on a baking sheet lined with a silicone or parchment baking sheet.

Place in a 350 degree oven for 3 to 4 minutes. Stir, and return to the oven for 3 or 4 minutes, until the cumin is fragraant.

Let them cool for a few hours. Once I got going, I was unable to stop eating them even for a sip of beer.

Shout outs

Shout out to Matt who was into the blood episode – we watched the playoffs with our families

Geographical Shout outs

Shout outs to the cities, towns and countries that listen to this podcast

Green Kitchens Sicken Millions

Color scheme made up of Gross sounding colors like taupe and puce

Mauve birch get out the way

Don’t Pull The Trigger On A Face Tattoo

Reminder to the listeners as an alternative to getting the facial tattoo is to subscribe to the newsletter

If I were ever to have an advertiser maybe a good one would be tattoo removal

Cursing For Kids

Swearing nursery rhymes like Little Miss muffet sat on her motherfucking tuppet eating her curds and way shit

Stompin’ in my Drew Force V

I got new shoes –

at walk rite for life

who set me up with a custom fit, which I need to fit my AFO inside

Less than total teetotaling

“one or two beers half-january” is finally over

Putting us all together

Due to budget shortfalls, city councils in the United Kingdom are considering cutting assisted living programs and forcing disabled people to move into state-run facilities.

If you want a symbol of this country’s shredded safety net, look no further than Mark in Bristol.

For the past 30 years Mark, who has cerebral palsy, has lived in his accessible bungalow with the support of personal assistants. That care package has enabled the 58-year-old to build a life at the heart of his community: from being a governor at the local school and training as a social worker, to holding a season ticket for his beloved Bristol City football club, “It’s more despair than joy,” he smiles.

From next week, that life could start to disappear. As the latest local authority to strain under growing social care costs and dwindling resources – the city faces a budget hole of £17m next year, expected to rise to £32m in the years to come – Bristol council is proposing a “cost-effective” solution: if a disabled person’s in-home care is not considered “best value”, they could be told to live in a care home instead. It is the stuff of a domestic horror movie: a bureaucrat deems your life too expensive, and you’re forced to pack your bags and spend the rest of your days in an institution.

Frances Ryan, “Think of this: a plan to ‘warehouse’ disabled people. What kind of nation is Britain becoming?” Thu 25 Jan 2024

Laughing Fools

We had our friends over to watch the football game

I undercooked the beans again but it didn’t matter, we had a good time

Afterwards, my wife and I laughed so much at bedtime, being goofy

“New Shoes 2KXXIV” Selfie


Chapter list


Chapter List


In “Arte Povera,” Aaron “Wheelz” Fotheringham hits the skatepark in his WCMX wheelchair, we learn how to pronounce ‘arte povera’ and MS plays third wheel.

Shout out

  • Shout out to Jersey Girl who wrote in to let me know she was a diggin’ on the new theme song

@aaronwheelz WCMX GETTIN’ RAD

  • Aaron “Wheelz” Fotheringham WCMX disabled extreme wheelchair at the skate park. Watching his videos blew my mind and made me proud

Arte Povera Selfie

  • Put the selfie in and remind listeners to subscribe
  • When was the height of the sound effects- do you remember the sound effects? Contact me and I will give you an incredible shoutout that warps time and space due to its epicness

Famous Quotations: Edison & Rakim

When you have explored all possibilities, remember this – you haven’t.

Thomas Edison
Don’t sweat the technique

Cats are big

  • We can always make a social media profile for our pet cat. people love cats!

Video art, eh?

  • The video that comes up when you search “Arte povera pronunciation” is like a work in itself

Door Update

  • The ancient giant door of opportunity is wide open, with light shining through

Stitches/Staple Update

  • I don’t have any stitches or staples in my head or anywhere else in my body at the time of this recording
  • The stitches fell out in the shower. Just the end of them. They were brown

Three’s Company

  • Everyone who is in a relationship with me is also in a relationship with multiple sclerosis, including my friends and family

#1: Ask before you help

  • United Spinal Association disability etiquette guide was a concise read that offers interesting perspective on how to treat disabled people respectfully


  • acceptance of gravity like acceptance last time – gravity is a constant force

Time’s up

See you next week! Don’t forget to contact me for a Shout Out in the next episode

While you’re there, subscribe to get new episode emails


Chapter List


In “Ancient Cattle Herders,” scientists solve a genetic mystery about multiple sclerosis, Christina Applegate goes on the Emmys, and we read about how acceptance is key.

Caused by people with horses

Surely a big deal with far-reaching implications

Scientists crack mystery of how MS gene spread

10th January 2024, 08:09 PSTShare

By Philippa RoxbyHealth reporter

An international team of scientists say they have unearthed the answer in the DNA of ancient teeth and bones.

The genes which protected our ancestors from animal diseases now raise the risk of multiple sclerosis (MS).

The researchers call their discovery “a quantum leap” in understanding the evolution of the disease.

And they say it could change opinions on what causes MS, and have an impact on the way it is treated.

Surely a big deal with far-reaching implications, but I’m not 100% sure what they are. Something to do with ancient cattle herders, beasts and DNA helixes like you see above.


  • Reminder to put the selfie in and don’t forget it like last time, remind listeners to subscribe
ancient cattle herders selfie

90s are back: E-Mail

Emmy TV Moment

  • Christina Applegate on the Emmys was a huge moment that increased MS consciousness

Having That Falling Feeling Inside

  • Fell in the house Wednesday at 10:45am. my wife was here.
  • I bled a little from one of the stitches, but didn’t open up and stopped pretty quick when I iced it so I didn’t go to the ER but I think this still counts as a fall
  • If Christina Applegate did it, we would say, “she fell.”

If it’s the last thing I ever do

  • Fellow KFJC DJs reach out to me to take part in stuff, but I can barely make it around my house
  • Moving to San Leandro added 9 minutes and a bridge to what had been a straight shot from east san jose
  • I’m not walking very well
  • I would be there if I could be
  • I need to figure out my wheelchair transport situation

Like a helicopter

  • The wall blew off on that 737 Max 9

Come up off that

  • We got permits for solar last year but we’ve kind of been dragging our feet with the sales people and this year they want to take our money and now I’m getting calls from the operations department

Not a word

Acceptance is key

  • Blog post about disability and acceptance that I thought added valuable perspective to my situation




Welcome to the Season 8 Premiere, “New Pie Cutter”

In this episode, “New Pie Cutter” which is a kind of smorgasbord episode, we celebrate the new year, the new season, the new theme song. People get ready, the new episode is here and ready for liftoff.

Shout outs


  • Shout out to the sandman
  • Contact me on the contact form to get a shout out
    • Maybe the best shout out you’ll ever have, or that anyone’ll ever have

New Pie Cutter

  • To avoid a repeat of this year’s thanksgiving gorefest, I ordered a metal pie cutter on ebay, with a stainless steel blade and a silver handle –
  • it’s here and it’s beautiful and sturdy

Dinner a la GoGo

  • GoGo has limitations as a dating service
  • an awkward seating arrangement
  • at least they got a name change

TV burial

  • bought a big new tv bc mine crapped out after 15 years

What’s causing it

  • Dad butt dialed me again and he was like well. what happens is,I keep my phone in my back pocket, i think i butt dialed you


  • I will try to eat cheese no matter how old it is just to see
  • A pint is a pound the world around

Correct Technique

swallowing heads
correct and incorrect swallowing techniques
  • Swallow while staring at your sternum
  • I learned it from Koko

Wheelchair Fake News

riding in the park
With my son
  • parts on my wheelchair broke in airline baggage
  • “jazzy passport is discontinued”
  • and other lies the wheelchair salesman told me


  • making memes
  • yogurt marinade
  1. Mix 1 cup yogurt, 2 tsp Hoppin Hot Sauce, and 1.5 tsp salt
  2. Pour over 8 boneless chicken thighs and rest for at least four and up to twentyfour hours
  3. Grill and eat over rice with some white sauce and extra hot sauce to taste

AI Guy

  • I posted a picture of myself that was made by AI and I put it as my story and a lot of people haven’t heard from in a long time contacted me and maybe didn’t realize the picture was not of me but it was a hallucination by AI


  • the triage nurse at the hospital asked me if i used to be a wrestler



Welcome to “Can You Eat Blood?” the first episode after a break for a few weeks. I had trigeminal neuralgia face pain, so I took a a couple of weeks off. I think AI would say that these are bunch of unrelated thoughts.


  • Shout out to the poet Joe Imwalle who called me to thank me for sending a link to his linktree while at the same time insinuating (correctly or not) that almost no one listens to my podcast.
  • Joe played guitar in my high school band and now he’s a published poet
  • Shout out to Jeremiah Jahnson who gave us a shout out on KFJC, Saturday morning at 8:30
  • Shoutout to Hoppin Hot Sauce

Gray room

  • We went on a date at Yonsei Handrolls because the movie was too long to do otherwise

What To Do

  • When you have MS people are alwaays sending you scholarly articles like this one

Caramelized shallots

  • Chicken and pasta with caramelized shallots


  • Thanksgiving is for 14 this year
  • Thanksgiving menu

5% salt

  • I wrote the sauerkraut recipe for the school recipe book

I can breathe again

  • The espresso machine is back

No Swap

  • We’re taking a break from the Booze-Only Yankee Swap this year

Face on the fritz

  • My face is bothering me due to the storms in the atmosphere
  • Unfortunately I couldn’t eat dinner with my family
  • I had a scrambled egg on some rice so it’s not like I’m dying

Turkey Brain

  • A week away and the Thanksgiving meal took over my mind
  • I hope that I will be in the clear and so I can enjoy eating the meal and not be in fear
  • I’m put in the meat order after trying to put it in back in October and they were like, “We’ll do it next week.” I’m either super early or coming in in the nick of time

Cool hipster shoes

  • The guy at the mobility shoe store asked me what kind of shoes I want and I said I was a hipster and I was cool and he said so you want dress shoes?

Too Much Blood

  • Jan hasn’t been able to smell anything since he was 18
  • Nami drank Jan’s blood
  • But at least she didn’t drink her piss


  • Uniform Rejection of All writing submissions

Disability studies

Mysterious note

  • “Not just the bad stuff but the stuff I thought was really good”

Washed up

  • In a discussion of popular music John John told us Lady Gaga is washed up

Welcome to What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast Season 7. Episode 31, “God Of Thunder”


The provided text seems to be a collection of various unrelated topics and updates, including shoutouts, a fundraiser for KFJC, an art acquisition by SFMOMA, the outcome of a baseball game, discussions about tucking in a t-shirt, an exploration of self-sufficiency, cooking, and conversations about toxic behavior with your son.


Shout Outs

  • Shoutouts to Rocky who dug the face tattoo idea
    • Remember to use the drawer.
    • Repeat: do not get a face tattoo, just a drawer full of scraps of paper with tattoo ideas written on them
  • Shouts out to Max Level, standing at the edge of an inky black ocean holding a torch aloft

Fundraiser is done

2023 KFJC Artist Shirt by Abigail Mae
  • The KFJC fundraiser wrapped up bc we raised our operating budget for the coming year
  • I donated to fundraiser @ KFJC and got the artist shirt (pictured above)

Outsider Granted Entry

JOSEPH ALEF, UNTITLED (JA 072), 2018, WORK ON PAPER, 22 X 30 INCHES via Creative Growth

“SFMOMA’s investment marks a historic milestone in the contemporary art world,” said Ginger Shulick Porcella, Executive Director at Creative Growth Art Center. “It has been far too long that art institutions have ignored or underrecognized artists with disabilities. These talented creators can no longer be relegated to the category of ‘outsider artists’ as they firmly occupy the walls of museums worldwide.”


Rangers In 5

  • Diamondbacks lost the world series in five games to the Rangers
  • As promised, I now have an Adolis Garcia Rangers jersey on order for my son

Locked In With Deepak

Art School Job Prospects

  • The person who named cymbals had a really cool job
  • Do you think the hiring manager had other well qualified candidates?

Keep your shoes on

  • Tucking in a t-shirt in doesn’t make it look any more formal
  • If you are in my family, it makes you look like a pumpkin who thinks that a tucked in t-shirt is appropriate to wear to an event that it clearly is not
  • Otherwise, you wouldn’t tuck it in your silly t-shirt.

Everybody needs directions

  • Even Jesus Christ was not perfect

God of Thunder

  • I was the drummer from Def Leppard for Halloween
  • Tight reviews: one reviewer was 5’9″ 230 lbs “pretty sure my junk was showing”
  • The tights fit, and I don’t think my junk was showing

Exploration in Self-sufficiency

  • I took the kids to school by myself, picked them up, fed them, bath, and bedtime
  • So my wife could go to San Diego on a work trip

Green sauce for steak and vegetables

Get every last drop

Toxic messaging

  • Talking to my son about the imagined bullies in middle school
  • Trying to introduce the concept that making fun of a adisabled person is a toxic behavior, and as he gets older it’s going to be important to see that clearly
  • I am not at all sure that will help him

In “What’s Really Going On”, John discusses the challenges he’s been facing with his children, particularly their lack of cooperation

He shares the stress and difficulty he experiences in trying to handle this situation, about the frustration of dealing with his son’s behavior and the impact it has on their daily routines. He expresses his hope for a resolution and mentions that it’s the 30th episode of his podcast this year.

The episode discusses various topics, including John’s family life, his children’s behavior, his creative work with Hoppin Hot Sauce, and his experiences at a drum and bass show.

Forming a rock band

What I meant when I said that the fans of What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast could change the course of history is that there’s enough of them to form a rock band

Coffee Annual Deep Cleaning

We took the coffee machine in to get serviced

Pile of Sticks

All of my walking sticks are bent or otherwise unusable and I have them in a pile in the corner. I called in the warranty for one of them, and the replacement will come on Monday.

Drum and bass

I went to the drum and bass show at the Golden Gate Park Bandshell in my wheelchair


Kind of a milestone: I submitted poetry to ten publications. It’s probably just the beginning.

Hot Sauce

Hoppin Hot Sauce Original Flavor
Check Out Hoppin Hot Sauce On Amazon

Making a new production of Hoppin Hot Sauce, getting everything ready

What’s really going on

My son is driving me wild, and my daughter is watching and learning

John discusses the challenges he’s been facing with his children, their lack of cooperation in doing homework. He shares the stress and difficulty he experiences in trying to handle this situation, and the frustration of dealing with their behavior and the impact it has on their daily routines. He expresses his hope for resolution and a good night’s sleep.


In “Multifaceted Discourse” John discusses various topics and gives shout-outs. Here’s a summary of the episode:

The humorous and diverse “Multifaceted Discourse” delves into a smorgasbord of subjects, with the usual touch of self-deprecating charm.

Being a jazz vocalist is a real thing

We saw Kurt Elling & Charlie Hunter at Yoshi’s, where they always have a great accessible seating setup

It was cool to see a jazz vocalist headliner; they scat on every song

Bow Down

John dishes out shout-outs, paying homage to a variety of individuals, and even reflects on reaching a milestone 201st episode.

Shout out to slartibartfast who loves the production

Shout out to Jersey girl, who ideated the blind musicians kfjc special

Shout out to Nathan Mary tibby & butters who wrote in to Let me know, this is my 201st episode

Shout out to the sandman who said “it’s good and reassuring that AI cannot describe your show. Your show is about a specific human experience. I am glad that AI does not understand that yet, it means we still have time”

Onus Removed?

This could be a moment to rethink the A.D.A.’s framework. The Justice Department could take a larger role in enforcing the law, and Congress could amend the statute to give businesses a window to correct violations.

Evelyn Clark

We nearly take a thought-provoking turn reading The New York Times’ article, “It’s Time to Rethink the Americans With Disabilities Act,” shedding light on disability-related discussions.

Always Protect Yourself

A viewing of the film “Million Dollar Baby”; delving into thoughts on body limitations and the pursuit of perfection.

As Lennard Davis himself has written, “what is universal in life, if there are universals, is the experience of the limitations of the body”. Yet in films like Million Dollar Baby, and seemingly in every other ideological corner, we confront what Davis calls a “fantasy…of the perfection of the body and its activities”. We cannot step into this ring alone.

Jay Dolmage &William DeGenaro, Ph.D.


The episode then takes a poetic turn, inspired by Joe Imwalle. I’ve submitted my poetry around to some places and that’s a lot of fun and disheartening, but I’m more having fun with it.

Still need a lift

Wheelchair lift issues are ongoing.

Book Rundown

Book reviews include “2021 Best Sports Writing” anthology, Brandon Taylor’s “The Late Americans” and “Biography of a Phantom” by Mack McCormick.

Letting AI sum up

“Multifaceted Discourse” is a delightful blend of humor, insight, and intrigue.