My name is John,

I’m 43 years old, husband, father, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have Multiple Sclerosis.

I created the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast to share what I’m going through.


I believe in using the transformational power of creativity to achieve social justice. Joseph Beuys once famously claimed that, “Each person is an artist.” In the words of the Spanish poet Antonio Machado, “Wanderer, your footprints are/ the path, and nothing else;/ wanderer, there is no path,/ the path is made by walking.” My work consists of public interactions that create new conditions in the community.

I have multiple sclerosis and that affects my life and work in many ways. I am the host of What’s The Matter With Me?, a podcast where I share my experiences, challenges and triumphs as a patient with MS. The podcast develops my Disability Consciousness and bridges me with my caregivers, doctors, the disabled community, and community-at-large.

If each person is an artist, and we create the road by walking, then it is up to us to create the world we want to see.

stream of consciousness narrative cover

Potty Mouth DJ

Delving deeper into what AI says I already do, I present to you, “Stream Of Consciousness Narrative.”

The “What’s The Matter With Me?” podcast is a stream-of-consciousness narrative where the host, John, shares updates and thoughts on various topics that are currently on his mind. In this episode, John talks about a range of subjects, including his recent visit to urgent care, his experience with physical limitations due to multiple sclerosis, and his creative work on fundraising ads for a local radio station. He also mentions listening to the “Iowa’s Newsworthy Past” podcast, gives a shoutout to his friend George Chen, who runs a music distribution platform, and reflects on the nature of his podcast as a support mechanism. Throughout the episode, John’s narrative style is reflective and personal, touching on both humorous and serious topics.

Artificial intelligence

I like that, “reflective and personal.” I’m starting to think that AI really gets me. Enough claptrap, let’s dive right in.

Is it a population thing

Oklahoma and North Dakota have the fewest listeners to this podcast. California and New York have the most.


I am thinking about ending the podcast, what do you think? Use the contact form on Scratch that, if things seem bad, I’m going to think they’re worse. I’ll take no action.

Funky Worm

From Beyond The Grave

essential vonnegut caedmon

Listening to the Kurt Vonnegut interview cd from the back of my wife’s old crashed car, he discusses how making a play is like getting yourself a new family. Listening to it, I felt that it related to how volunteering at KFJC provided support at a time when I had changed my lifestyle. I had moved from Brooklyn, to East San Jose, and I was looking for a new scene.

Thee Song Candidate

Shout out to Rocky who wrote in saying she dug the new theme song candidate from last episode, “Goru.” I admit that it was heavily influenced by if not completely derivative of The Body & OAA, but maybe that isn’t a bad thing.

In Between The Lines Of Age

Having my doctors tell me that my leg is useless or that my hand is paralyzed reminds me of when my kids used to say, “You can’t use your hand”, and then I would put a piece of paper in it. And say, “what about this?”

Listening without intention

Iowa’s Newsworthy Past is a podcast with about 200 episodes consisting of readings from pretty old Iowa newspapers. You can listen to it really hard or you can zone out and let time and space melt away.

Acquiring Legitimacy

George Chen’s Zum Audio Vol 5 compilation was on bandcamp radio last week and that’s a pretty big deal even for an accomplished polymath gadfly like George.

last day of summer at the jelly belly factory cover

Welcome to “Last day of summer at the Jelly Belly factory” on What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. I asked my artificial intelligence tool what this episode was about, and it summarized it thusly:

The main idea of this episode is a stream of consciousness narrative where you share updates on various topics, including your experiences visiting a Jelly Belly factory, your interest in music, your thoughts on different sayings and maxims, an accident where you hit your head and had to get staples, and some personal reflections and anecdotes. The episode covers a range of topics and thoughts that are currently on your mind.

Without further ado…

Reggae bible study

Have you been studying your reggae bible? I haven’t, but on Dj Robert Rankin’s Solid Foundation reggae show I heard the lyric, “The race is not for the swift, but who can endure.” I googled it, and it’s from the Bible, a riff on Ecclesiastes chapter 9, verse 11.

The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Ecclesiastes 9.11

This could relate to people in wheelchairs, who aren’t very fast, but who have the strength to endure what is happening to them.

Hotter than rats in a sack

The family went to Fairfield and Suisun City for the kids’ last day of summer break. It was 98 degrees in Fairfield, but the Jelly Belly factory was climate-controlled.

Afterwards, we went to Retroactive Records and Games in Suisun City.

More Maxims

Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Those who say don’t know, and those who know don’t say.
Smile now, cry later.

Pile it up high

They put me on a medication that causes drowsiness and I’m like add it to the pile. Thankfuilly, that was last week and now I’m off it. Meanwhile, I am working on reordering the shoes in my correct size, but its not exactly going smoothly.

To top it off, my AFO brace is still broken and tough to walk in. Trying to get up, I fell and hit my head and cut myself. After some cajoling, I went to the ER and got four staples. I admit that I’m glad I did. Next week, I’ll go in to the office and get them removed.

New music adds

Looking over the list, I can see that this week’s music run-down is guaranteed to freak out the squares. Nine Inch Nails do soundtracks, Portishead stepped on a Lego, Gravy Train go up-market, and extreme hardcore vocal interplay – this week’s music adds have a little bit of something for everybody. Don’t let your life go silent.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (Original Score) by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross

Enemy of Love by The Body & OAA

No Jack Swing by Brontez Purnell


This Week’s Selfie

last day of summer at the jelly belly factory selfie

Welcome to “Iron Curtain,” a trip behind the enemy lines of the mind, contrasting the styles of my current dentist, The Cat, with my last dentist, The Iron Curtain. Peel back the layers of flayed gum tissue and see!

To give you a hand, I asked artificial intelligence to find the funniest part:

It’s challenging to pinpoint a single “funniest” part, as humor is often subjective and can vary based on individual preferences. However, there are several moments that include lighthearted anecdotes, witty observations, and amusing descriptions. For instance, John’s description of his neighbor, the retired police officer, and his interactions with people caught driving around is quite humorous. Additionally, his playful musings about the “Iron Curtain” dentist and the Ukrainian war, as well as his interactions with his dentist and the solid wheels for his wheelchair, also carry a humorous tone. Humor is often found in the unexpected and quirky details of everyday life that John narrates in his podcast.

Sounds completely amazing, let’s dive in!

Caught in the act

Retired cop caught some people driving around. He subtly got their name and address and he’s still taking their statement

Shoe Fail

I bought Billy shoes and they were too small – got to exchange

New Kind Of Animal

Got my teeth cleaned where they do it like cats instead of like the iron curtain. I wonder if she ever wanted to quit being a dentist in the states and move back to Ukraine and do her iron curtain work on Russian soldiers

Live Ukrainian Death Match

Accidentally head-butted the wall in the garage – abrasion. Fell on my stomach.


We got the pedestal sink in the bathroom anchored to the wall with a a piece of wood and my friend complimented me that my house looked nice

My kingdom for a tube

Popped my tire, and instead of getting a replacement, I got a new wheelset. I got solid wheels for my wheelchair at the medical supply store, where they said nobody uses tubes anymore.

A Rare Success

Last night for dinner grilled a 2# Rib steak, onions, cabernet – it came out as even a rare that I have ever cooked.


Video podcasting

In “Security Shirt,” I’m experimenting with creating a video version of this podcast. With video, it’s proof. I’m going to focus on trying to make movies, then seeing if I can integrate them into the podcast

Shout outs

  • Shout outs to Wylie
  • Shout outs to the Sandman who wrote Jack Tar & I about a live Buddy Guy concert on TV yesterday


  • Thinking back to “Hit My Head On The Bed,” maybe I should get a bed frame with posts or other hardware on the bottom so I can hang on to that – because there isn’t anything to grab on to at the lower end of the bed.

Sao Ichikawa wins Akutagawa Prize

Sao Ichikawa, the winner of the Akutagawa Prize, speaks at a news conference in Tokyo on July 19. (Takuya Isayama)

Security Shirt Movie

  • Security Shirt story – “a man is blocking the stairwell”

AFO drama

  • My AFO brace has come unglued again
  • I’m falling a lot, getting bruises, and taking lots of ibuprofen

Thor Raining Down Lightning

  • Trigeminal neuralgia was like lightning coming through the clouds. The clouds came from the carbamazepam and gabapentin I was on at the time. But then the lightning of trigeminal neuralgia in electrical nerve disease was like being in an area where there are lightning storms. The lightning is pretty unpredictable and there are mostly clouds, but once in a while the lightning strikes or there can be a lightning storm that breaks out and there are many, many electrical strikes. It causes a lot of anxiety because of how unpredictable it is. And having gone through many many of those lightning storms, I am kind of traumatized. I am on the same medication today and under more or less the same clouds. But there is no lightning when there is any feeling at all it is very muted. But like I said I’m traumatized. I’m anxious and I’m fearful. I have to recognize that

Easier dressing

  • Relaxed fit clothes fit my AFO easier but they are going top be a change for my wardrobe

From the Corrections Desk

  • Correction from my wife. We didn’t use carvana that we use CarMax. The same one we use the last time

Smoke Signals

  • Burping after eating Taco Bell vegetables tastes like cigarettes
  • I was about to tell this lady at National Mobility and Seating right when the guy told me I was at the wrong place and he was behind the window at first so I didn’t see him
  • My wife was relieved

On The Beat

  • I saw Kerry in the park at 8:30 a.m. trying to do what he can for as long as he can

Frank Fat’s

Revenge Against All Odds

  • Crippled Masters. One with no legs, the other no arms.
  • Disabled self-representation in a martial arts film.
  • An avant garde film.
  • Ended with no falling action

This Week’s Selfie

With my wheelchair

Video Podcast Experiment

I guess

I’m just trying to make this work yo! I made a video podcast of the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. This isn’t a full episode of my podcast, rather a test to see how it works. I have wanted to do this for a while and I just figured it out here and now. I think I’ll keep at this, so stay tuned.


Welcome to “Hit My Head On The Bed”, an episode unlike any other about unwelcome interactions with a solid bedframe, children’s birthdays, and walking the beat. PLUS a new theme song candidate faster than any others.

Frame Very Solid

  • I fell and hit my head on the wood bedframe

Child’s Birthday

  • It’s my sons birthday tomorrow
  • On the weekend, he is going with a few friends to see the new Mission Impossible

Movie Theater Bars, Part One

  • I bet they make whiskey sours with Jim Beam White Label at the bar

Just In Time

  • Hit the corner on my current phone and then it starts transcribing what is said and it does a pretty good job
  • I am figuring out the accessibility controls on my phone just as I am about to change to a new phone
  • I am an environmentalist so i throw away my trash
  • Technology has too many layers of microphones
  • By the time I figure out how it works, I need a new phone

Bike shop

  • we went to the bike store in the neighborhood and got my son a bike
  • we live next to the ride around the lake
  • the shop makes custom road bikes that are too nice for a ten year old

Lost Focus

  • Getting ready, I didn’t stay focused – the kids were fighting – and I didn’t stick the landing and fell getting ready
  • I hit my head on the wooden bed frame
  • I need to get help when I’m trying to get out of the house, but maybe it’s unrealistic to expect it

Walking The Beat

  • My neighbor is a retired police officer
  • He walks a lot and has a a loud voice
  • According to the bike mechanic, we live in the “forgotten zone”
  • He walks the beat all the time and he knows everything that’s happening

Down At The Heel

  • My shoes are trashed
  • I’m looking at which is made for people who wear AFO braces
  • I need help figuring out the sizing because the AFO affects what size I am
  • My current shoes are ugly and decrepit
  • The soles are cracked and the uppers have a condition resembling alopecia

Wheelchairiots Of Fire

  • My phone misheard my wheel chair as a wheelchariot and I thought that was pretty rich
  • Good thing I’m not having to fight for my life in ancient Rome

Opening Time

  • what time do they start serving whiskey sours at the movie theater bar

Sun Jam

  • NEW Theme Song Candidate “Sun Jam” maybe the fastest theme song candidate ever

This Week’s Selfie

Hit My Head On The Bed Selfie

Remember, the selfie is only available to those who subscribe

new van cover

Welcome to “New Van” on the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast

In this episode, I get a new van that accommodates a chair lift, host a friend from out of town, and start to plan the heavy metal concert at my burial.

News Smash

Shout outs

Custom Hoppin Hot Sauce vans
Sand Man’s idea
  • Shout out to Rocky and the Sand Man

Burial Music

Terrible Cemetery cover
Terrible Cemetery
  • A terrible cemetery would have no benches
  • Metal changes tempo
  • You can only slam dance to it
  • The dancing people stay away
  • You can’t dance to it
  • Nami replied, “and maybe that’s the point.” A metal thing to say

No Police Escort

  • little league baseball season was a disaster
  • The police escort didn’t show up and the parade was canceled
  • In the middle the A’s decided to move to Vegas


  • Buddy came from out of town

New van

New van
New car smell
  • They picked up the old van for donation
  • We purchased a 2020 Toyota Sienna.
  • Its coming on Saturday

Pick Me Up

  • Finally, we are going to get a wheelchair lift in the trunk.
  • I am trying not to get too excited

On The Contrary

Clean - Crisp - Clear
  • Admittedly, I can be a contrarian, so when KFJC got a little too carried away playing an all-vinyl marathon that extended to almost a week, I proposed an all compact-disc marathon, called The Plastication.

This week’s selfie:

new van selfiae
New Van selfie

Welcome to “Chew On That”, an episode about new music, barbecues, and the cultural differences between cafes and diners

Best Sauce

Hoppin Hot Sauce Original Flavor

Check it out:
Hoppin Hot Sauce is on Amazon

News flash:
It’s the best sauce In the world

Big Up Listener

  • Shoutouts to Rocky
  • Shout outs to the people who listen to every episode

Boom Roasted

  • We needed to order another Filter for the ice Maker and bang i did it

Trip to the Cathedral

Tom's restaurant
Right around the corner
  • This is a podcast about nothing because i’m from the Seinfeld era

Ritual Hazing Absent Father

  • I had Dad drink cucumber skin juice
  • He grimaced. and we laughed and pointed at him

First Detroit Based Art Gallery And Studio For Disabled Artists

Progressive Art Studio Collective (PASC), a program of Services to Enhance Potential,  is seeking funding to complete the build out of our future Detroit Gallery and Studio in LANTERN. If PASC raises $50,000 by August 5, we will win a matching grant through MEDC’s Public Spaces Community Places initiative.

Sausages On Display

  • We hosted BBQs on July 4th & 5th
  • I’m an extrovert and my wife is an introvert
  • For the 4th we had sausages and ssteak
  • On the fifth, we ate hamburgers


Sonny Rollins & Leonard Cohen
Ghast “O Akhea Rheon”

Kids are into this

Purchased the catalogue


This Week’s Selfie

chew on that selfie
Chew on that selfie


Every time we release an episode



Welcome to “Air Time” on the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast

Across the street they had that place with Coffee & Tea, remember that? It was coffee with a black tea bag in it.

Best Sauce In The World

Stay For The Selfies

  • Surf it on over to Subscribe page and never miss an episode
  • Makes No Sense: Is the plural of selfie also selfie?

Air Time

  • KFJC radio is an outlet for neurodiverse people and people with speaking differences and it has been that way for a long time
  • Shout outs to the people who download every episode
  • Watching the Special Olympics Opening Ceremony on ESPN
  • Disabled people can be hard to organize
  • I’m glad they got airtime

New glasses

air time glasses
  • Went to Costco and got new prescription & frames
  • I made Chili with chile de arbol in it

Good For Ex-New Yorkers

Paralyze my muscles

  • I went To the doctor to get botox
  • Botox is cosmetic but also relieves tension, llike spasticity caused by MS

I was embarrassed by my parents too

  • John was embarrassed to have me drop him at camp in my wheelchair

Salad is healthy

  • The internet thinks franks and beans are healthy

Pox on our house

  • Koko has Covid


  • Rollins plays with the Rolling Stones, uncredited, on Tattoo You

Don’t know how

  • I need to sell my car

Early fall

This week’s selfie

Hanging in there

Welcome to “You’re Just Jealous” on the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast


My glasses, my walking stick, my car, my phone: everything is breaking down. My buddy’s offhand comment takes me back to a time when my defense was, “You’re just jealous!”

AI Is For The Birds

  • Shout out to Ashika who lol’d with me at how lame AI is, thanks for tuning in

Sandman and/or Uncle Dennis

  • Shout outs to the Sandman Uncle Dennis, no not THAT Uncle Dennis
  • also , why not, shout outs to THAT Uncle Dennis
  • but also to the Sandman Uncle Dennis
  • these are two different people
  • Shout outs to all the cult members

There’s So Much Going Wrong

  • I’m relying heavily on my family to function
  • i got my glasses and my car back and have ordered a new walking stick
  • My cane got adjusted too high. I think I did it when I was messing around with it- that made it very hard to walk. Then, I made it too low
  • My old brace is giving me fits and I have to go back to the cobbler
  • I went to get a new brace and it was a fiasco
  • I have so much going wrong that it is hard to look past it

The way he says it

  • I ate a Wingstop chicken sandwich mango habanero and lemon pepper fries and it sucked

Unknown Emotional Toll

  • I fell 3 times on Monday. One time I asked John to help me sit up

Reading the paper

zb10 tablet
  • I bought a tablet to read the newspaper for $50 and it worked out

Potty Mouth Actor


On the schoolyard

  • A buddy’s offhand comment about only children took me back in time
  • “You’re just jealous” used to be my only defense
  • “Who listens to you at that time of night?” – sorry Aunt Linda

This Week’s Selfie

you're just jealous selfie