"Wedding In Boonville" cover

We left, we went to a beautiful wedding in Boonville. They had an oyster bar and I ate there with a couple friends. That was a really nice activity. The food was wonderful. The wedding was beautiful. One of the brides wore a leather wedding dress made by Valentino. The wedding had caviar on a runcible spoon and a fine Italian wine at the meal.

Begin Transcript

What’s the Matter With Me? Episode 9, “Wedding In Boonville.”

Yeah, it’s What’s the Matter With Me? Episode 9!

My name is John. I’m 38 years old. I have MS, I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.

Fundraiser Script

Information Orangutan

Couch Potato One
Couch Potato Two
Information Orangutan

The sound of a live performance. They’re watching it on a stream, on a computer.

Couch Potato One: I think this KFJC live stream is melting my face off.
Couch Potato Two: I am taking serious damage.

Computer error.

Coach Potato One: Oh, no. Aww, something’s wrong with our computer and we need to fix it.
Couch Potato Two: We need to call the IT person.
Couch Potato One: Get the phone book. Look it up. What does IT stand for?
Couch Potato Two: Information something or other. Here it is, Information Orangutan.

Phone call. Dialing.

Information Orangutan: Hello, Information Orangutan… Information Orangutan, you rang-a-dang-dang, dang.

Chicken sounds and wailing off-mic, in the background, like Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, and also Harry and the Hendersons.

Couch Potato Two: Hello our computer is malfunctioning. Lots of errors and “does not compute.”
Information Orangutan: Be right there.

The sound of a time and space portal opening. The Information Orangutan steps out of it into the couch potatoes’ living room.

Information Orangutan: Information Orangutan, you rang-a-dang-dang?

Off-mic chicken sounds and gibberish wailing.

Couch Potato One: Our computers aren’t working.
Couch Potato Two: Our computers aren’t working and we need you to fix them!

More chicken sounds, and wailing.

Couch Potato Two: Dude, I think he’s not going to fix our computers. I think he’s just an orangutan.
Couch Potato One. We went about this all wrong. We should have called (650) 941-6800 to donate to the KFJC fundraiser, and nothing bad would ever happen to us after that.
Couch Potato Two, If we ever get the internet working again, I will go to KFJC.org and donate online.

The Information Orangutan’s unintelligible holler …

All right. So, that was a script. I guess you might have guessed that was a script I’m writing or that I wrote. Fundraiser season at KFJC, the radio station that I have a show on, on Thursdays, that’s coming up and so we need advertisements. I guess that was me reading this script I wrote, called Information Orangutan. I had this idea- I just, literally had the phrase in my mind “Information Orangutan, you rang-a-dang-dang?” And so I wrote that just so I could use it. It’ll be interesting.

Supposedly, at the KFJC staff meeting tonight, we are meant to record that, so we’ll see. We’ll see how it ends up. I mean it’s kind of long, it took three minutes.

What’s the Matter With Me? Episode 9, “Wedding in Boonville”, welcome. Thank you for listening. Thank you for joining me.

Recap of “Big Week.”

I went to the barber shop. I had my annual checkup with the doctor.

I have to make a correction. I said “cerebrum”… I should have said cerebrum. I said “cerebellum” and the cerebellum is underneath the cerebrum. I meant the cerebrum, the big brainy part of your brain, not the brain stem or interior brain. The cerebellum.

Rituxan infusion

So anyway, I did that. I had my radio show, I talked about poverty with my therapist. I went to a birthday party. I got my Rituxan infusion, in Stanford on Friday for four hours. I got pumped full of steroids and Benadryl and Rituxan. So I sat there and slept, this odd state of being totally pumped up and also sleeping.

Family in Santa Rosa

The next morning we went to Santa Rosa, my family, my wife and kids, and we dropped my kids there. They had a pool party with my parents and my cousin, her kids, and my uncle, wife, and kids. And so we left. They had a great time, I’m sure. He said that he learned to swim. My cousin’s kid is a lifeguard, so we got a swimming lesson, so that’s fun. He talks about it now, a week later, still talking.

Wedding in Boonville

We left, we went to a beautiful wedding in the hills above Boonville. They had an oyster bar and I ate there with a couple friends. That was a really nice activity. The food was wonderful. The wedding was beautiful. One of the brides wore a leather wedding dress made by Valentino. The wedding had caviar on a runcible spoon and a fine Italian wine at the meal.

Wardrobing while disabled

My wife and I were dressed up and looking beautiful and that was great. She wore a beautiful floral print silk dress. I got to wear my summer wedding, had a straw fedora Stetson hat. it’s great to be disabled and dress up because usually I feel like a mess. I have a cane and a brace, and seen in that light, to dress up, pull it off, it’s a real feat. I felt proud. I can’t lie.

Immediate fall

It was difficult terrain, though. As soon I arrived at the wedding, I fell, because the car dropped me off on a hillside full of gravel. Nami wiped off my butt. It was cool.

My friend Chris appeared at my side and he’s a very good friend of mine and so we walked down the Hill together and it was great to see him.

I forgot all about falling down, because I was now in this other very unstable terrain that I had to manage immediately. But I did it well, I didn’t fall the rest of the time and that was a challenge but it was fun. There was a big pool, the reception was around that, so I kept walking around and Nami was afraid I was going to fall in the pool. I think everyone was. I was. There were no hand railings, big stones, and uneven grass. I had some wonderful champagne, but it was hard. A lot of people were dancing, and so trying to walk through them is hard.

There was another woman there with a walker, part of the bride’s family, and it was difficult for both of us, I’m sure. I told her, I’m going to go up, try and make it up the hill to have a drink with my friends. She stayed at the table with her husband, and wished me good luck.

It was a beautiful wedding. My best wishes to the brides. And my lovely bride was there, we’re going on seven years.

Yeah. Get together. Don’t be lonely. Life is a game of few and only!

That’s What’s the Matter With Me? Episode 9, “Wedding in Boonville,” in the books.

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