Day 23 of self-isolation
I’m going to try practicing some acceptance to get through this terrible experience of confinement, which is worse than usual.
JOHN HOPPIN: You are listening to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John. I’m 40 years old, husband, father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis. So I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.
Let’s see. Last episode, recap: I was just rambling about stress. I was stressed out, but I think it’s 12 minutes long or something. I couldn’t even edit it. I’m not really editing things too much right now.
I wanted to talk today about Acceptance. The family is all here. I’m baking bread right now, to teach them how to make bread and how yeast works. Right now it’s been punched down and reformed and it’ll bake in about an hour. So it’s rising, getting ready to bake.
I wanted to talk about acceptance. Because of what’s going on, it’s totally out of my control. So much stress. I wanted to think about acceptance. I’ve had to focus on that.
I’m really uncomfortable in my body a lot of the time. My hand is clenched up and my biceps has spasticity, along with weakness in my right leg, my whole right side really. It’s kind of uncomfortable, especially when I’m trying to get comfortable and go sleep, lay there and quiet my mind. Kind of do the same thing I used to do in a yoga. I would think about lengthening my spine and stretching out. It’s hard because if I feel really uncomfortable a lot of the time in my own body, then that physical discomfort makes me really upset mentally and I have to deal with that. Hold on a second. I’m going to go inside because I’m cold.
All right. I’m in the garage. So, discomfort can kind of take over my thoughts when I’m laying there and I have to practice that yoga lengthening of the spine, meditation and focusing on my breath and I’m trying really hard. But you know what can be really helpful is to practice acceptance and to say, “Hey, this is how I’m feeling right now,” and that’s what’s going on. I’m having feelings and emotions and that’s all it’s happening. I can be mindful and be accepting of my own feelings and just feel them and it’s okay and to move on from that. I wanted to talk about that, after that really stressful episode where I really let it all out.
So I want this practice some acceptance. That’s what I’m going to try do and try and get through this terrible experience of confinement that is worse than usual. All right. Thank you for listening to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast You can get past episodes on Apple Podcast and at whatsthematterwithme.org. Thank you for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast.