What's The Matter With Me? Podcast

I have multiple sclerosis, trigeminal neuralgia and I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.

Writing Fundraiser Scripts

  • The annual fundraiser is coming up at KFJC starting at the end of the month.
  • I’ve been recording fundraiser spots for about 6 years. my first one was about a person taking a taxi. I do one or two a year.
  • I always enjoy writing, and every good spot starts with the script.
  • This year, I wrote four, and I read them in this episode, along with an older one from 2016 that resonated with me.
  • Writing these scripts has been a positive creative outlet.


You are tuned into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. My name is John. I’m 41 years old, husband, father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster. I have multiple sclerosis, so I made this podcast to share what I’m going through. Fundraiser at KFJC, it’s coming up. I want to focus on the radio this episode, because I’ve been doing a little work with that and I want to share it.

Fundraiser is coming up at KFJC at the end of September, to the end of October. I’ve been recording fundraiser spots for KFJC around this time every year for about six years. My first one was about a person taking a taxi. I do one or two every year or so, so I’ve wanted to read you some of the fundraiser scripts.

Because we’re kind of distant, I haven’t been able to go into the production studio, so I’ve been producing at home. On Tuesday nights, they’ve been having these production meetings with people that basically gather on Zoom, and then we bang out some spots. I know from some experience that a really useful thing when you’re trying to make fundraiser spots is to have scripts for them. You need something to go. You can’t just make it up. I came to the meeting. I had four scripts ready and I wanted to read them to you here, so hold on a second.

I’m reading my KFJC fundraiser spots, the ones that I wrote for this year on the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast.

On KFJC, they know me as Hemroid the Leader. Hemroid the Leader, I tell them. You are listening, you’re tuned in the KFJC. I am Hemroid the Leader. I came up with that when I was 13 or 14. In the CD, or actually I have it on cassette tape, the insert that came with the album De La Soul Is Dead, which is the second album by De La Soul, what was their hit song? Me, Myself, and I. “Just me, myself, and I.” Anyway, that was their first album. It was a big hit. Their second album was weird and strange. It was not a hit, and inside it… Although it’s totally a great album. I’d recommend De La Soul is Dead. Like a lot of albums that aren’t hits, it’s a really good album.

It has in the back, they have skits. A lot of rap records at that time had skits or interludes or whatever, and the skit number five… First of all, the album was almost 30 tracks long. So right there, it’s not a hit. Check the no. Is this enough, 30 tracks? Probably none of them. You hope one. That’s so many tracks to have none of them be a hit. Anyway, on the last skit, skit number five, I think it is, five or six, Prince Paul, who’s a famous rap producer is playing the ringleader of this crew that is starring in all the skits. So it’s like a prog album, and we’re on the fifth skit with this team of guys and they get into an argument. Prince Paul says, “I’m Hemroid. I’m the leader!” And so right then when I was 14 or 15, I got my first radio show on KSCU, Santa Clara University, and I was like, “I’m Hemroid the Leader.” So when I moved back to the Bay area in 2013, 2014, started getting involved with KFJC. And I was like, “My name is Hemroid the Leader.”

So this, I want to read to you, are Hemroid the Leader’s fundraiser scripts. I brought them to the meeting on Tuesday, and I was like, “Hey guys, anyone want to record these?” and they did the Zoom screen share thing. I showed the scripts, and I got all different people. I didn’t do any of the voices, which is good. I love hearing people interpret the stuff I write. But anyway, here it is. Here’s the script. I’ll read it to you now. Hold on one second. Hemroid the Leader, switch on.

Have you heard of KFJC? Do you listen to KFJC? Are you listening to KFJC right now? Most of us feel that way. In fact, nine out of 12 KFJC listeners reported having heard of, listened to, or are listening to KFJC right now. You too may be listening. Donate at kfjc.org.

It’s still the 20th century. The internet and Y2K and the MP3 players do not exist. There’s no guarantee that they ever will. You can still go to an occult bookstore, read a newspaper, or donate to a community radio station during a fundraiser drive.

And then I put a note in here for a sound. A sound, a bunch of sounds. Sound of a record needle, slapstick comedy whistle, car crash, back to the present moment. And then a megaphone voice says, “In protest against this terrible millennium, go to kfjc.org and donate today.”

Highly contagious and easily transmitted, it’s time for the KFJC fundraiser. Donate at kfjc.org.

It’s as easy as being in the same room. That’s how you can get it, if you’re in the same room with someone else and you were just breathing. That’s all you were doing. You were just breathing, and someone else is in the same room and you were both breathing, especially if it’s inside, that’s how it is the easiest. If you’re in the same room together and if all you’re doing is breathing, that’s how it is done. If you’re in the same room, and you’re inside and your breathing and somebody else is there and there’s a radio playing, that’s how it happened. It’s happening to both of you. You are both listening to KFJC. Donate to kfjc.org.

That is a weird, creative thing I do, and it’s cool. It raises money for my favorite radio station, KFJC. That’s kind of the weirdest radio station, which of course, I love it.

It’s like flexing my creative brain to write scripts, and then to hear people performing, it’s great. Anyway, that’s just something I do. I found this old fundraiser script that I wrote in 2016, and I wanted to just read it, because it’s kind of like it resonates with me. I read it and it resonated. Maybe if you hear it, it’ll resonate with you.

In our society, everything is fine. We’re free. We are safe. We grow and prosper, and we all take part equally. Each person has a voice and none goes unheard. Leadership has our best interests in mind. The best things are the most popular and they are worth the most money. Everything is taken care of. That’s why there is absolutely no need to support a not-for-profit FM radio station by calling (650) 941-6800, or donating online at kfjc.org. Your participation is not required.

Thank you for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Much love, and I’ll see you next time.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *