Something happened at Bill’s Cafe

Flyer on table

Something Happened at Bill’s Cafe

I order coffee and toast, John John gets pancakes.
Tap on my shoulder, our host –
“Excuse me sir, is that.. your underwear?”

Injury in the yard

I was working in the yard, fertilizing some yellow cauliflower plants.
I stepped in a hole leftover from when we pulled out tomato plants and I fell to my side. It felt like i tweaked it.
I was in a wheelchair or bed ridden. I had a lot of work to finish before Christmas.

I was on the radio

Last Friday, I hosted the Jazz Collective on 89.7
This morning at 4am i got this message:

Y o your jazz collective was the stuff man. I played all of it while cooking dinner and hanging with friends. Nice balance of easy listening and skronk. Omg it was so fat


There’s no difference

Its cool to be on the radio where i can have a voice and it doesn’t make a difference that i’m disabled..i like playing records too.
Check it out: Jazz Collective last Friday at
My air name is Hemroid The Leader. i’ll explain later.
The stream is up for 2 weeks.

MS Breakthroughs

I’ll be attending MS Breakthroughs with Jeffrey Dunn on Saturday January 26 in San Jose.
I’ll bring some flyers in case somebody wants to hear a podcast.

MS Breakthroughs

Join us to learn about our progress this past year in accelerating breakthroughs for people affected by MS, what’s in store for the year ahead and enjoy a research update from our keynote speaker Jeffrey Dunn, MD, Professor of Clinical Neurology and Division Chief of Clinical Neuroimmunology at Stanford Neuroscience Health Center at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California.

He serves as the Chair of the MS Section of the American Academy of Neurology and serves on the National Medical Advisory Board of the National MS Society.


Thanks for listening

To the Whats The Matter With Me? Podcast
Other episodes at, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts..
Check out more of my music on
Hoppin Hot Sauce is a movement! makes every plate taste great
(Hoppin hot sauce theme)
Season 3 episode 1 in the books


JOHN: Welcome to the What’s the Matter with Me? Podcast, season three, episode one: Something Happened At Bill’s Cafe.

My name is John, I’m 39 years old, husband and father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster. And I have multiple sclerosis, so I made this podcast to share what I’m going through.

The What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast Is an MS Podcast, and it’s also about other things. Past episodes are available for download on, iTunes, and wherever you get it. I’m not a medical professional and you should not take this for medical advice. If you need medical advice, ask your health care provider.

Recap, recap, I post … man, I get too excited sometimes. Recap, I posted live from the Petaluma Smart Train Station. Check it out, surf on over to, season two, episode 16. Check it out. Gotta give big shout outs, big, many thanks, shout outs to Rocky, Shauskin and Patrick, and most of all, especially Nami. Shout outs.

You know, something happened at Bill’s Cafe. I felt that morning when I woke up, I was by my bed getting dressed. It felt kind of strange when I put my pants on. I checked it out. In the leg with my brace, I was putting it on, it felt kind of weird. Then I had my morning, I went ahead, I dropped Coco at school and parked there, walked from the car to the classroom. I was with John John. We all went. I dropped her off, everything was cool, everything was normal. And I took John John to the dentist, and I’ve read, probably on my phone in the waiting room, and it’s all good. It was done and he had a good appointment, we went back to the car, everything normal.

Bill’s Cafe. I went to Bill’s Cafe. Bill’s Cafe is a popular, like, brunch chain around here. So I wanted to take John John for some pancakes. He did good at his dentist appointment and I wanted to reward him. So I ordered coffee and toast, and John John got the pancakes, and then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I looked out and I was like, no. And the host, the host was there. It’s 11:00 AM, there’s like a coffee shop vibe all around. People who were eating Brunch at 11:00 AM on a Tuesday, you know, it’s an interesting scene. It’s like retired people, and weirdos. And my dirty underwear that I wore yesterday is in the middle of the floor.

The guy is like, “Excuse me sir, is that your underwear?” I’m like, “Why yes it is,” you know, and so I got it, I stuffed it, I mean, what do you … I can’t be like “No, clean it up,” right? So I stuffed it in my pocket, and I played it off, and I knew I was just like, this, this is like, so … I’m mortified, right? But I’m like, no, do not be mortified. Just play it off. And I played it off, but the pressure was high. My something happened to Bill’s Cafe, my dirty underwear was it. And I felt weird putting my pants on in the morning, you know? Always check your pants I guess, or I don’t know what the moral is here.

Okay, well that’s out of the way. Before the holidays, I had a pretty bad accident. One Sunday morning I was working in the yard, and I was fertilizing some yellow cauliflower plants. We got some yellow cauliflower plants cause we were like, they’re weird color. I thought the kids would dig that. So we also pulled up the tomato plants when we planted the cauliflower, you know, and the tomato plants leftover from the summer, they were big, you know. So they made holes when we pulled ’em up and we forgot to fill ’em I guess, we didn’t really even think about it. And when we pulled out the tomato plants, then I stepped in the hole and fell to my side. And I kinda felt like I tweaked it. It was really hard to get up. Of course I was just about to leave the house so I got mud all over myself. I had to go inside and change and clean my shoe because I got to wear it ’cause my brace is in there.

So I was totally a mess, and it kind of felt like I tweaked it. I went to Oakland, and I met this rad dude, BJ Miller. I’m going to talk about him maybe next episode. And by the time we got home that night, you know we’ve been out all day. It was kinda cool, but then all of a sudden I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t put any weight on it. And then it was just, we had to go to the hospital, get crutches, that didn’t work. So we got a wheelchair, and it took like five days.

Nami helped me get up and wake up, go to the bathroom, get dressed. I was like a mess. And my buddy Manny, he helped me out, came by in the daytime, hanging out at dinner. He was cool, and it was super tough to be in a wheelchair, and bed ridden and … ‘Cause I had kind of tweaked my left hip and my left leg is the one that’s useful. So it was kind of … it was very touch and go. So I was bed ridden and I had a lot of work to do before Christmas, but I couldn’t do anything. I’m on pain meds and it was hard. And people helped me though, and am really grateful that I’ve recovered, but I had a bad accident. I was not digging that.

I was on the radio. Last Friday I hosted the jazz collective on 89.7 It’s a jazz show. This morning at 4:00 AM I got this message: “Yo, your jazz collective was the stuff, man. I played all of it while cooking dinner and hanging out with friends. Nice balance of easy listening and skronk. OMG it was so phat.” It’s cool to be on the radio where I can have a voice and it doesn’t make a difference, any difference at all, that I’m disabled and I like playing records too. I have a good time. Check it out. Jazz collective last Friday, you can get it from Just go to the homepage. Click on more from the archive, and my air name is Hemorrhoid the Leader. I guess I’ll have to explain that later.

On Saturday, January 26th in San Jose, I’ll be attending MS Breakthroughs. It’s an event put on by the MS Society. I’ll bring some flyers in case somebody there wants to check out a podcast. MS Breakthroughs: join us to learn about our progress this past year in accelerating breakthroughs for people affected by MS, what’s in store for the year ahead, and enjoy a research update from our keynote speaker Geoffrey Dunn, MD, professor of clinical neurology and division chief of clinical neuroimmunology at Stanford Neuroscience Health Center at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. He serves on the chair of the MS section of the American Academy of Neurology and serves on the National Medical Advisory Board of the National MS Society. Jeffrey Dunn at Ms Breakthrough, San Jose, California, Saturday, January 26. The Courtyard by Marriott, San Jose, North Silicon Valley. Register at

For sure I’ll let you know how it goes. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning into The What’s the Matter With Me podcast. Other episodes are at, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts. Check out more of my music on That’s J-O-H-N dash H-O-P-P-I-N. And of course sponsor, word from our sponsor. Hoppin Hot Sauce, it’s the best hot sauce. Hoppin Hot Sauce, it’s the best sauce in the world! That we’re not telling you! Makes every plate great, Season three, episode one in the books. Thank you for listening to the What’s the Matter With Me podcast.

1 reply
  1. John
    John says:

    conversation with AI about the incident at bills cafe:
    It sounds like you had quite an unusual experience at Bill’s Cafe. It must have been embarrassing to have your dirty underwear fall out in such a public setting. Sometimes, unexpected things happen to all of us. It’s important to keep a sense of humor and handle situations like these with grace, as you did. If you have any questions or if there’s anything specific you’d like to discuss about this incident, feel free to let me know.

    please write a short humorous interpretation of the incident at bills cafe
    Certainly, here’s a humorous take on your Bill’s Cafe incident:

    So there I was, at Bill’s Cafe, just a regular Tuesday morning, you know, brunch with my son, John John. Everything was going swimmingly until my underwear decided it wanted to be the star of the show.

    I woke up that morning, and my pants had apparently formed a secret alliance with my underwear – they were up to some mischief. As I’m getting dressed, my pants start feeling like they have a mind of their own. Little did I know, they were plotting the great escape.

    Fast forward to Bill’s Cafe, where I’m sipping my coffee and John John is happily devouring his pancakes. Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around, and there’s the host, looking at me with concern. I’m thinking, “Uh oh, what’s the matter now?”

    He points to the floor, and there it is – my dirty underwear, having its moment in the spotlight. In the middle of a bustling cafe. I couldn’t exactly deny its existence, could I? So, with all the dignity I could muster, I casually pick up my undies and stuff them into my pocket, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

    The moral of the story? Always keep an eye on your pants; you never know when they might decide to rebel and expose your secrets to the brunch crowd. And hey, at least Bill’s Cafe won’t forget my visit anytime soon! 😄

    write a oneliner about it
    “When my underwear decided to take center stage at Bill’s Cafe, I realized even my laundry has a flair for drama!”

    write a zinger about it
    “Well, at Bill’s Cafe, my underwear decided to drop in for brunch, giving a whole new meaning to ‘bottomless coffee’!”

    what can i do to prevent it
    To prevent a similar incident from happening in the future, you can consider a few practical steps:

    Double-Check Your Clothing: Before leaving home, take a moment to double-check your clothing for any unexpected surprises. Make sure everything is securely in place.

    Inspect Your Pockets: Ensure that your pockets are empty of any items that might fall out accidentally, like keys, tissues, or, in this case, underwear.

    Secure Your Laundry: If your underwear seems prone to escaping, you might want to check the elastic or waistband for signs of wear and tear. Replacing worn-out underwear could prevent future mishaps.

    Organize Your Bag: If you carry a bag or backpack, keep essential items like spare clothing, toiletries, or personal items in pouches or compartments to avoid any mishaps.

    Stay Mindful: Sometimes, in busy or rushed moments, we forget to pay attention to the little details. Being mindful of your clothing and belongings can go a long way in preventing embarrassing incidents.

    Humor in Hindsight: Remember, even embarrassing moments can become funny stories later on. Embrace the humor in life’s quirks and mishaps.

    By taking these precautions and staying mindful, you can reduce the chances of unexpected incidents like the one at Bill’s Cafe from happening again.


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