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Trigeminal neuralgia hurts like hell. I’m going to have micro vascular decompression surgery, get out of pain, get off these pain medications, and contribute to my family again.

I signed up to have surgery. They’re going to pop a hole in my skull and operate on my trigeminal nerve. It’s called micro vascular decompression surgery.

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John Hoppin: What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, thank you for tuning in. Season three, episode 12, maybe? Maybe 13. I always get the episode wrong in the freestyle edition, but it doesn’t matter. (ed: This is Season Three, Episode Thirteen) Welcome to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Season three, episode 12, maybe? 13. (ed: Again, this is episode thirteen) It’s another one of these shoot it from the hip episodes.

John Hoppin: I’m not a medical professional. Don’t take this for medical advice. If you need medical advice, ask your healthcare provider.

John Hoppin: I can’t really talk right now because it hurts. But I wanted to talk to you. Oh, I’m kind of conflicted. Here, I’m going to press this toy. It’s a picture of a snail. My kid got it from her grandma who’s here visiting us from Japan.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Yeah. Okay. A little break. It really hurts to talk for trigeminal neuralgia. I wanted to give you an update, though. What’s The Matter With Me? is still cracking. I’m going to take a break every time it hurts too much, okay?

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Oh. (singing). I like that one. It’s about an elephant. Zō-san, that’s like Mr. Elephant, zō-san. Yeah.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: (singing). I don’t know all that.

John Hoppin: (singing). Yeah. Okay. So, enough with that zō-san, Mr. Elephant. It hurts, man. So, I wanted to check in, RECAP last episode. Episode 12, did you check it out? It’s kind of like a free association, poetry, spoken word kind of thing. It’s kind of nebulous. But I’ve been having a lot of pain, you guys, since Mother’s Day. I’ve been in extreme pain. Right now, weirdly it hurts to touch the inside of my right ear, like to pick my ear, so I can’t dry off my ear after the shower, but I also can’t even wear headphones to record in the studio. So, I’m out here recording to kind of freestyle with no script, just this sound maker. Here’s some birds.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: You guys, I signed up to have surgery. It’s like as close to my brain as you can get. They’re going to pop a hole in my skull and operate on my trigeminal nerve. It’s a thing called micro vascular decompression surgery. So, basically, there’s a blood vessel that’s somehow right up next to my trigeminal nerve and it’s making all this pain, so they’re going to go in there. I signed up next month, because I can’t even talk to you guys it hurt so bad. I can’t talk to my kids in the morning and say, “Hey, you know, put on sun block,” because it hurts to say “puh” and it hurts to say “buh”. So, right now it really hurts to talk to you. Let me have a break. Let’s see, snowman, duck, whatever.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Hey!

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Yeah.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Uh, uh, uh. All right, so not bad. What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Thank you for listening. I know I haven’t been on for a while, but I’m telling you this facial pain is so much that I’m going to have someone chop through my bone and operate on my nerve. But he’s a very talented neurosurgeon. He’s done over a hundred of these kind of procedures. So, right now, the reality of my life is I’m on two medications. On each of those medications, I’m on the maximum, so I’m like on a double dose. I have to nap at 10:30 in the morning. I get tired. I get tired after lunch and after dinner I go to sleep at 8:00 PM. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning and I feel pain. From when I go wake up, I feel pain. All the way to go to bed, I feel pain. I have a little time in the afternoon sometimes, knock on wood, sometimes I feel okay.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Hey. Yo.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: I need a whistle. Just blow the whistle. Toot! I’ll just say “toot”, I guess. It’s like blowing the whistle. Anyhow, What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. I’m just trying to reach out to everyone and say I’m still here. I’m going to make more of this podcast, but I straight up can’t wear headphones and I can’t talk, so it’s difficult to be a podcaster right now. It’s at maximum difficulty, but I’m going to do it because people have been like, “Where are you at?” I am here. I am making a lot of music and putting it on SoundCloud, soundcloud.com/john-hoppin, J-O-H-N dash H-O-P-P-I-N. That’s me, John Hoppin. What’s the matter with me?

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Yeah, blow the whistle. (singing). But I can’t understand it because it’s in Japanese. Anyway, there was a picture of a little blonde girl. It’s like this orange plastic thing, you know? It’s a red button that said something in Japanese and a green button that also says something in Japanese. There’s a four-by-four grid and each square on the grid, if you hit it, it plays one of those little songs and it says something in Japanese. So, you know, I don’t speak any of it. I can say “hi” and like, “Nice to meet you,” and stuff, and like, “Give me one beer.” I can say the important stuff. But not any child songs. I know zō-san. Yeah.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: (singing). Just to be honest with you, I do wish that I could sing the whole thing. Here, I’m going to put this out there. I hope my wife teaches me to sing zō-san. I know she has before, but I forgot it because it’s in Japanese. I got to speak more Japanese. That’s a reality of my life. It would help. It would help everyone to speak more of every language they don’t know. I guess that’s kind of obvious about languages. Anyway. Got this pain, going to have this guy cut the blood vessel off of my trigeminal nerve next month. I should be able to then come off of all this pain medication that’s making me drowsy and making me sleep like 20 hours a day, really. I can wear a headphones and life will be different, I hope.

John Hoppin: I need to sell more Hoppin Hot Sauce and I can’t, because I can’t really pitch it. I can’t sell it to anyone. New clients, you have to talk to them. That’s a problem. Unless I have this handy sound maker … I’m not going to play another song for a while. That was fun. That was like my kid. My daughter is constantly playing songs from this, and she can sing along with them like solfege syllables. She probably learned that from me, I guess, because I sing along to them and I certainly am not singing them in Japanese, but my daughter loves it. It’s so cute.

John Hoppin: Anyway, that’s what’s keeping me going, but my family is having a hard time. When I’m in pain, I can’t talk. They see me in pain. That’s hard for them. I can’t talk, I can’t help them. I’m asleep all the time. The other day, my kid … They hug me to go to bed and give me a kiss, and the other day I woke up, my son was like crawling on top of me to hug me and kiss me. It’s the sweetest thing, but it also really bothered me that I wasn’t awake to be like, “Hey dude, come and give me a hug. Give me a kiss. Let’s have that, you know? Let me take you through your nighttime process where I’ll go to the bathroom with you, I’ll help you brush teeth.”

John Hoppin: I do that stuff, and as a disabled dad, it’s important for me to do the things for my family that I can do, because I can’t do everything. That’s true. I can’t do the same as a person who supposedly can do everything, who’s able. I can’t lift the heavy packages, but I can help take my kids to school and I can help put them down at night, but not when I’m asleep all the time. I need to be out of pain. I’m tired of having my wife and my kids, you know, wife has to do more. She has to work harder. I’m tired of that. I want to be a contributor to my family, but you know what? This hurts like hell, and I’m over it. I’m going to get micro vascular decompression surgery, get off these pain medications and get out of pain and contribute like I know I can, and make more episodes.

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: (singing).

Japanese Toy: (singing).

John Hoppin: Unh. I need a whistle. Toot, toot. I’ll just be tooting like crazy. If I got a whistle, my kids would get ahold of it and they would just be like, “Toot, toot, toot,” and I’d be like, “Damn whistle. That whistle.” Anyways, thank you for tuning into the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast freestyle edition. Shout outs to Rocky. I know Rocky loves the freestyle. (singing).

John Hoppin: (singing).

John Hoppin: Freestyle, uh. That was my weak beatbox because my mouth hurts. That was the weakest beatbox. Someone should shove me in a box. Anyway, What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Thank you for tuning in. Season three, episode 12, maybe? Maybe 13. I always get the episode wrong in the freestyle edition, but it doesn’t matter. (ed: This is Episode Thirteen!!) I’m going to have surgery, you all. Thank you for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast is available on Apple podcasts, WhatsTheMatterWithMe.org, and Wherever you get your podcasts from, listen to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. Let’s give a shout out and bow down to the universal sponsor of the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, Hoppin Hot Sauce.

John Hoppin: (plays the Hoppin Hot Sauce jingle).

John Hoppin: Yeah. Hoppin Hot Sauce, it’s a movement. Thank you for listening to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. See you next time.

1 reply
  1. rocky
    rocky says:

    i’m very excited to hear about the surgery. I think it’s gonna be a game changer. You are going in the right direction. Keep freestylin’

    Rocky

    Reply

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